BOOK REVIEW: MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS: A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR IMPROVING COMMUNICATION AND GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

BY: DARINA PROKOFYEVA

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is my favorite book on dating and relationships. Written by John Gray, PHD; it is one of the most fascinating and interesting books I have ever read.

 John Gray was born in 1951 in Houston, Texas and is an American relationship counselor, lecturer and author. He has written sixteen books on relationships and personal growth and has been conducting seminars in both the United States and internationally for over 30 years.  Currently, Dr. Gray lives in northern California with his wife Bonnie and their three children. 

Dr. Gray has published many books on relationships and dating such as Mars and Venus on a Date; What You Feel You Can Heal; Men, Women and Relationships; Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, but Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is my favorite. This book is interesting and professionally written. The author starts with a story where Martians and Venusians meet, fall in love, and have happy relationships together because they respect and accept each other’s differences.  But they come to Earth where they are afflicted with amnesia and they forget they are from different planets. Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Dr. John Gray, based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, gives us advice on good communication skills between couples. Some issues include: how to communicate your problems to your partner without offending him or her, how to understand the difference between men and women’s communication styles, how to communicate difficult feelings, and how to ask for support and receive it.

What really fascinates me the most about this book is the ability of the author to keep the audience’s attention with an engaging story while explaining accurate and concise information about relationships, dating and love.  All other books that I have read on dating and relationships were confusing to me. Because I’m from another country and do not knowing English very well, I have a hard time understanding different author’s writing. But Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is colloquial, clearly written and an easy to understand book. When I started reading this book I was not able to stop, it was easy for me to read it and I really understood what the author was talking about.  Different parts of the book are even written with humor, making it an exciting and fun read.

Men and women differ in all areas of their lives. They think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need and appreciate differently. They almost seem to be from different planets; speaking different languages and needing different nourishments. This book will teach people techniques that will help them solve the problems that arise from our differences.

 Have you ever wondered why women and men sometimes say they need a break? Why men pull away? Why women experience mood changes? Two of my most favorite chapters from this book, chapters 6 and 7, answer us with men are like rubber bands; when they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. Women are like waves. When she is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but suddenly; her mood may change and her wave crashes down. Chapters 6 and 7 explain to us what people need to do and how we should react in these situations.  It also teaches us that we are all very different and we have to accept our differences.

  

The book incorporates a lot of personal stories of other people and I think that it is a good book, even though it isn’t supported by other research than Dr. John Gray’s own clinical casework. This book is useful for people who are married or for people who just started dating. The author has good insight into challenges that couples face.  His writing is professional and very well organized.  The topic of communication skills is one of the most important things in any relationship. Many couples separate because of communication problems. This book teaches you different communication skills you can use to help you to keep your relationship healthy and happy.

I highly recommend you to read this book. It has changed my views on relationships, dating and has also helped me in my relationships and dating experiences. This book includes answers to the questions that I was most concerned about. For example, before reading it I was ashamed to communicate my feelings and my concerns to my partner. After reading this book, I learned different skills of how can I communicate my feelings without hurting my partner, avoiding arguments and keeping our relationship healthy. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a very enjoyable read with a lot of useful information. Happy Reading!

Gray, John PHD. (1992). Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. New York, New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.