Cougars & Cradle Robbers - Age Differences in Dating

By: Mackenzie Parkin

 

We have all probably come across one or more dating partners that we consider to have traits that are “deal breakers.” These potentially objectionable can be almost anything such as poor hygiene (yuck!), conflicting values, or a large age difference. Let’s focus on age difference. Wouldn’t it be nice to know just exactly how old is too young or too old? There are a lot of opinions out there about this subject, but a common rule of thumb is half your age plus seven years if you are the older person in the pair. But is this number actually reliable? Research indicates that men will agree to date partners in the range of anywhere between five years older to fifteen years younger (Kenrick& Keefe, 1992). Women will usually agree to date partners around ten years older or younger (Kenrick & Keefe, 1992). So to answer the question of whether the seven year rule holds true, it mostly depends on the preference and age of the individual.

There are some interesting biological findings about mate selection that may interest you in regards to the background of this information. For example, did you know that research has shown men typically prefer women who are younger than them? Similarly, women usually prefer men who are older than them (Kenrick & Keefe, 1992). Interestingly enough, as men age, they prefer even younger women. In contrast, women maintain their age preference in men to being a few years older (Le, 2011). I found it very interesting that some researchers believe (feel free to take this or leave it) that this may stem from the evolutionary research perspective that men are subconsciously selecting partners who would be more fertile and women select older partners to have protection and security (Kenrick & Keefe, 1992).

In summary, research can’t tell us exactly what age is too young or too old, but it can give us some background information which we can use to form our own opinions about what is an acceptable age gap between dating partners. Although research has shown men to prefer younger women and women to prefer older men, there are always exceptions to this rule and we can’t assume that couples who go against age norms wouldn’t work or aren’t normal because, in fact, they may just work out! My advice, don’t let age difference intimidate you, but also make sure that you are comfortable with your dating partner and make sure if you do have a large age difference that you have enough in common to get along. Good luck!

Kenrick, D. T., & Keefe, R. C. (1992). Age preferences in mates reflect sex differences in human reproductive strategies. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 15, 75-133.

Le, B. (2011). The dating equation: ½ (your age) + 7. Science of Relationships. Retrieved March 9, 2013, from http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/.