Book Review

Why Men Love Bitches

From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A woman’s guide to holding her own in a relationship

Sherry Argov

Review by: Mandee Curtis

We all have a friend, or maybe it’s you, who is a go getter when they are single.  Keeps her priorities straight; school, exercise, work, and then party on weekend, but when interested in someone or even in a relationship everything changes.  She forgets you as a friend, she slips up in school or work and this is all because the only one who is important to her anymore is this ‘special someone.’

Every woman has felt embarrassed by appearing too needy with a man.  Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest the minute she gave in.  Every woman knows what it feels like to be taken for granted.  These problems are common to most women, married and single alike.

This book is here to tell you that will not work out in the end.  The book is talking to all those women out there who forget how wonderful they are once they meet a man.  Some women change into this ‘nice girl’ who do and think whatever a man tells them to do or think.

I like how Argov define the term Bitch: “Bitch (noun)- A woman who won't bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion-- be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance.  She doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards-- only her own.  Because of this, she relates to man very differently (Argov, 2004).”

The ‘bitch’ in this book is an empowered woman who drives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker with confidence and freedom.  Success in love isn’t about looks; it’s about attitude.  The ‘bitch’ doesn’t lose her friends.  She doesn’t give up her career or her hobbies.  She doesn’t give up all of her time or bend over backward for someone else.  And, she has no time for disrespect.

I think it there is some underlying truth that men love women who love themselves, who aren’t afraid of being who they are.  Although, it was hard for me to find research on this, I did find that “research on mate preference can be classified into three areas of study: consensually desired attributes; attributes on which men and women place differential emphasis; and attributes that certain kinds of people find differentially attractive. Research examining consensually preferred characteristics has revealed that most individuals desire partners who are physically attractive and have pleasant personality characteristics.  These findings have been qualified by research on sex differences, which has shown that men tend to place greater emphasis on physical attractiveness, whereas women tend to stress personal characteristics such as kindness, considerateness, and earning capacity (Simpson & Gangestad, 1992).”

Argov, S. (2004). Why Men Love Bitches. Avon, MA: Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company.

Simpson, J. A., & Gangestad, S. W. (1992). Sodosexuallty and Romantic Partner Choice. Journal of Personalit Vol. 60 Issue 1, 31-51.