Pros and cons of speed dating vs. online dating

By: Darina Prokofyeva

“In the late 1990s, Rabbi Yaacov Deyo invented speed-dating to help Jewish singles in Los Angeles meet each other”(pg.193). In 1964, online dating was discovered when a twenty-five year old accountant named Lewis Altfest and his friend Robert Ross came across a giant computer at Parker Pen Pavilion which selected pen pals for people electronically. They were immediately intrigued, “A year later, Altfest and Ross had a prototype, which they called Project TACT, an acronym for Technical Automated Compatibility Testing--New York City's first computer-dating service” (para. 1).

Many people in our modern time use online and speed dating, but I always wanted to know which one is better or if there is a better one between the two. What is the difference between these two types of dating? I didn’t know which one should I try, so I decided to experience both online and speed dating. I had the opportunity to go to a university speed dating event, the ages of students in this event were ranging anywhere from 19 to 26. The experience was astonishing! Also, I had the opportunity to register in different online dating websites and set up my profile, send messages, and chat. After this experience and further research, this is what I found.

“Match.com, one of the first Internet dating sites, went live in 1995. It is now the biggest dating site in the world” (para.16). Here are some advantages and disadvantages of online dating.

Advantages:

1. Something I discovered about online dating was that you could talk to someone more easily online without that real risk of rejection. It’s hard to feel rejected if someone just simply doesn’t reply to your message.
2. Online dating is an easier way to meet people if the person doesn’t normally have time for other activities like going to a coffee shop or a church activity.
3. There are a lot of people on online dating websites. This makes it easier to talk to multiple people at once.
4. It costs very little money, while physically going on a date with someone can be expensive.

Disadvantages:

1. You can love a conversation you are having with someone online, their pictures, and talking with them on the phone, but it could all change if you don’t feel it when you finally meet them.
2. Because you are not face to face with the people you are meeting online, it’s easier to come across people who are not honest about themselves in their online profiles.
3. I found that because of the online atmosphere it’s harder to distinguish the people who are there for a relationship and the people who are just there for an intimate encounter.
4. It can be dangerous if and when you finally decide to meet a person you have met online.

Here are some advantages and disadvantages of speed dating.

Advantages:

1. Within the first five to ten seconds of meeting someone you can already tell if you like them, speed dating is good because after meeting you are given an additional 2-6 minutes to find out if you can actually hold a conversation with that person.
2. It is much better than online dating if you are someone who wants to get to the point and start dating someone right away.
3. The people who attend are more likely to be ready for dating since they are putting themselves “out there”.
4. It’s very easy to come away from the event with 3 or 4 dating opportunities.

Disadvantages:

1. It can be expensive, especially when buying drinks.
2. Some of the dates could be a waste of time because you don’t get to “preview” pictures or things about the person first.
3. There could be awkward moments if you run out of conversation or if you realize you’ve met the person at the same type of event before.
4. You are being judged by a short five minutes, some people feel they would be more liked if they were given a longer period of time to get to know each other.

“One in six new marriages is the result of meetings on Internet dating sites”(para. 21). Online dating works for a lot of people, and can be an easy way to meet a lot of different people in a short amount of time and talk to them all at once. Speed dating is designed more for people who have already decided they are ready for a relationship, and can be more fun because you are meeting the person face to face. There are many advantages and disadvantages for both, it all depends on what works best for you.

Finkel, E. W. (2008). Speed-Dating. Current Directions in Psychological Science (Wiley-Blackwell), 17(3), 193.

Paumgarten, N. (2011). LOOKING FOR SOMEONE. New Yorker, 87(19), 1-21.